You’ve hooked up with the potential person of your dreams and, bonus, they say they love animals too. As a matter of fact, they’ve got a dog of their own.

But before you start planning a series of long, romantic walks for just the four of you, take a moment to listen to Dr. Gary Landsberg, noted animal behaviour specialist, author of several books and a partner in two Toronto-area animal clinics.

“There are a lot of variables, depending on the animal and the situation. The first thing to consider – does your dog get along with new people, places, other dogs?”

Landsberg recommends having your new partner get together with just you and your dog before introducing the variable of another dog into the equation. If your pet is even a wee bit nervous or possessive, it might be a good idea to have that initial meeting take place on neutral ground – in a park or on the sidewalk, somewhere the dog doesn’t identify as exclusively his. You can then try returning to your home, where your now-more-familiar partner will be more welcome. Doubly so, if they happen to subsequently slip your pet a few treats and spend time playing with it and its favourite toy.

Just like the human experience, says Landsberg, first impressions with a pet are key. “Go slowly. Make sure a tentative dog gets positive experiences. Bring out the treats and toys every time you get together with your new partner, so the dog will form a distinctive association that whenever this person shows up good things are about to happen.”

If all goes well, step two is acquainting your pet with your partner’s pet. Neutral territory is again the best bet for this activity, ideally a dog park where both animals are accustomed to meeting and greeting newbies. When you return home, continue the fun with treats and toys, ensuring both animals receive similar attention.

These twin preliminary steps, of course, should be performed in mirror image, with you undertaking solo home-and-away visits and playtime with your partner’s pet. Over time, each pet should grow increasingly comfortable with the other and its owner. But if there are any difficulties – jealousy, resource guarding, growling or, worse, fighting and biting – you’ll want to consult a behaviour specialist, maybe even put your pups into therapy.

Let’s say the dogs are getting along just fine. There’s still one more hurdle to overcome: that big moment when you and your new mate decide to make it official and move in together. Ideally, you’d buy a brand-new home, one where a single dog’s associations wouldn’t be strongly imprinted. Chances are, however, that one of you will move into the other’s place.

Gary Landsberg says that structure is significant to this step’s success. Start by setting aside one or two rooms in the home that will be exclusive to the new resident pet. This is where you should set up the new dog’s crate or bed, and where it will find its comfort zone, full of familiar sights and scents.

Establish a daily routine to make your dog more at ease, and try to be there with it as much as possible, especially in the early days. Feed both dogs separately, even if you give them treats at the same time. And don’t leave them uncrated and unattended unless you’re absolutely sure they’ll get along fine.

Remember that heightened anxiety can lead to urine elimination in the house, so consider crating your dog when you’re away from home, at least for the first little while.

If accidents do happen, Landsberg suggests purchasing a Dog Appeasing Pheromone (DAP) product, which is designed to soothe the dog with undetectable-to-the-human-nose biochemicals that mimic the scent of a mother canine’s breast. These relatively recent inventions are available through pet stores and online as both plug-in room diffusers and collar attachments.

Over time, both animals should settle down quite nicely. They will learn to adjust to the other’s traits and habits, as well as to understand what their limits are with your mate.

Landsberg still has two final recommendations for blending households and pets: proper training and behavioural awareness.

A strong believer in positive, treat-centred reinforcement, he is leery of the confrontational alpha-dog techniques. A dominance-trained dog might view an order from a person other than its “pack leader” as a challenge, one that “gives it two choices – back off or attack.

Imagine a dog coming into a new home where there’s a child [who’s trying to control it] and the child says ‘Ba!’… Well, a dog could come awfully close to nailing that child. Positive reinforcement, on the other hand, means the dog is trainable with other people and is more likely to obey their commands too.”

Contrary to the pack mentality concept of one dog always being in charge, new research shows that within a dog society, hierarchies are in fact fairly elastic.

“Dogs who get along often show appeasing gestures. Let that happen,” Landsberg suggests. “One might have a preferable sleeping area and be willing to fight over that, even though it might defer over toys and food. The question is who wants what more? Who’s willing to fight for it more? So let this dog have a few more treats, that dog have the couch – as long as your affection for them is equitable.”

Substitute a TV remote control and the last cookie in the jar and it all sounds, oddly enough, exactly like a human relationship.

Sometimes the problem isn’t with the pets, it’s with the owners. Linda G., a mid-40s Toronto professional with a Cocker Spaniel, spent a couple of years dating a man with a Golden Retriever. The two dogs adored each other; they even slept curled up together, their fur blending into one big, blonde ball. But the Golden’s dad never warmed up to the slightly hyper Cocker. That fact became obvious one night at his cottage when Linda woke up to “a popping farty sound… and then an awful, awful smell.” Her dog was experiencing explosive diarrhea all over the carpet, and the poor thing was not at all happy with the situation.

“The farting noise made her scared, so she was running all around in the poo. Finally, she jumped on the bed for safety – right into my boyfriend’s face.” He woke up with an oath, which made the dog race about the bed, leaving a stinky brown mess in her wake.

“It was all over the sheets, the new duvet, everywhere. My boyfriend did not offer to help clean up. I did everything while he showered for about an hour. The next day, I went out and bought a commercial steam-cleaner for the carpet. The steam-cleaner is still up at his cottage, but I’m not. That incident with the dog wasn’t the actual relationship killer, but things sort of went downhill from there and we broke up a couple of months later.”

There is a happy ending, however. Linda claims her new boyfriend “loves the Cocker more than he loves me.”